When I'm Gone
by darklight182
Summary: Had she been foolish when she decided to look into the cause behind her father's death? Yes, she had indeed and now she was paying the consequences. She should have left the whole thing alone. OC/Jackson


Disclaimer: I do not own anything that has to do with this movie. The only thing I can remotely say that I own however is the main OC.

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_"May he rest in peace."_

_"Your father was a great man."_

_"He surely would have wanted for you to be happy."_

Words spoken that really held no meaning anymore.

"Would you like me to stay?"

Heather jumped as she heard how her friend spoke to her as they stood at the entrance of the church. The people that had been attending to the funeral was beginning to diminish, only taking their time to give her their best wishes before disappearing among the lingering crowd that was outside the church. It was a sullen day, almost appropriate with what that had transpired within the walls of the church.

Her mouth was unpleasantly dry as she tried to keep herself sounding hoarse as she struggled to find the words that refused to come to her willingly. She felt empty, almost as if a vital part of her had been cruelly taken away from her and which she could never have returned to her regardless of what she did to retrieve it. It was gone and there was nothing she could ever do that would ever change that.

"No, I'll be fine. I think I'll just go home," Heather said as she allowed a small smile to move across her lips. No, she was anything but fine to be completely honest, but she wanted to be alone. The events that had taken place the last couple of days were still too close on her mind, successfully taking away every last pounce of energy she had thought she had possessed and left her completely drained.

She had a sneaking suspicion though that the woman standing next to her didn't believe her words for one bit but was to kind to call her out on her lie. Jillian, what a treasured friend she was. Heather would have to tell her that someday when she wasn't as anxious.

"Okay, but promise me that you will call me if something comes up or if you simply want company."

"I will. Thank you for coming today. I don't know what I would have done without you."

The words came out in a complete mess but she meant every last one of them. Jillian reached out to give her hand a small squeeze in response before she backed away a little to give her more space, probably sensing the fact that she didn't want her to close to her.

"Would you at least let me drive you home? And no, I won't take no for an answer."

"What can I say to that? Your not really leaving me with any options," Heather replied with what that was intended to be cheeky grin on her lips even though she could feel it fall flat. She must have looked like a complete lunatic, she thought as they ventured towards the car, but she couldn't really care less. It was an odd feeling and she wasn't sure what to make out of at that moment. As they approached the cars she could feel the eyes watching her, some with sadness and others with pity, burning into her back until the moment she stepped into the car and was hidden away.

"Dear god, they looked at me like they expected I was going to have a complete breakdown right in front of them."

"Well, it's not as if you haven't a good reason to. You have had one hell of a week," Jillian responded as she started the engine. Heather turned to look at her and could have sworn that she saw the shadow of a small frown hiding on her face before it went away. Maybe she had just imagined it.

The ride to her apartment was spent in silence besides a few words uttered to break the heavy silence between them. Her mind was a complete blank, unable to process anything that was happening around her at that moment besides her thoughts. She could not come up with one good thing to say to get rid of the horrible silence.

_"Jillian, please say something. Anything will be great!" _she thought as she secretly willed her friend to make the move to start a conversation. Anything to distract her from the thoughts that seemed to linger with her.

Why had her dad committed suicide?

Heather swallowed the tears that was beginning to take hold of her as she stared out of the window. She could feel Jillian glance at her but did nothing to acknowledge her. A sensation of dread entered the pit of her stomach and she could hear how Jillian called out for her.

He must have known that she had been on her way to his apartment that day and would walk in on him. He must have known that she would find him lying there. That she would see him.

"Stop the car."

"What-"

"I said stop the car!"

Heather literally threw herself out of the car the very moment it stopped. The cold air welcomed her and she found herself to gratefully breathing it in as she tried to tame the emotions that was raging inside of her. The churn in her stomach seemed to stop for a bit as she focused her eyes on the ground underneath her as a means to keep herself from throwing up.

He must have known.

"Heather?"

Jillian approached her and began to rub her back with slow, circular movements in attempt to make her feel better. The kindness that had resonated through her voice when she had called to her was way to much for Heather to take as she felt how tears was beginning to collect at the corners of her eyes. She took a small breath but found it difficult to even breath properly. She could feel people looking at her as they passed the both of them on the thin pedestrian area, clearly in wonder of what that was the cause of her current state.

"I just don't understand. Why did he do it?" Heather said as the tears ran down her cheeks as she bent down, and put her hands on her knees as she tried to suppress the awful sensations that was taking part inside of her. She wanted to hate him. How could he disappear like this without leaving any sort of explanation behind his actions? How could he leave her and her mother like this?

She wanted to hate him but yet she couldn't, regardless of how hard she tried.

_"Dad, why did you have to go...?"_

"C'mon now. We should get you to your apartment before you catch a cold."

_"Dad..."_


End file.
